Monday, December 06, 2004

Sunday Evening Walk with Slight Misadventure

After the last mass at Greenbelt, I took a walk.

I had a small knapsack with me, swinging on my left shoulder. It was heavier than usual, because I bought some books at Powerbooks and I had the idea of bringing a flask of home-brewed coffee.

The priest discussed marriage for some reason. I listen to sermons indirectly, as if through a reflection. I zone out and focus on the general direction of the altar, and I let my mind wander. I justify this as divinely inspired daydreaming. I am in a holy place, after all, in a holy ceremony.

I don't like the idea of marriage anymore.

When I was young, I imagined I would be married with kids by the time I was 24, because it had seemed to be a very old age to be. Then by the time college came, marriage just seemed so crazy. There so much to do. I wanted a career. I wanted to have sex with boys. And girls. I wanted to travel. I wanted to shave my head. I wanted to screw up badly and redeem myself. I couldn't imagine taking care of anyone else.

My best friend in college had a solution: get married in Las Vegas and get divorced right after, just to get it over with.

This idea was recently made real by Britney Spears, but years ago, it was also (apparently) done by the parents in Family Ties. One episode showed how the kids discovered that the parent were previously married. It turns out that they were previously married to each other. They got married early, got divorced, then found each other again.

Well, our idea was to get married and get it over with, so that I can just say to everyone (Dad, Mom, everyone) that I tried it and it didn't work.

Another great way to get married then get widowed early. That is more tragic and would draw sympathy, unlike the reaction for a Las Vegas divorce. But wishing to be widowed was risky business.

I thought about these things during mass, all the way up to the end of mass, and up until my evening walk. When I stopped and looked around, I was by the Filipinas Heritage Library. How did I get here?

Oh, well, where do I go next? What's open on a Sunday night? Maybe Jupiter. How about Rockwell?

The evening was warm and clear. No chance of rain. And it was nice to have trees above me. I always wished that Makati would have a huge park, a real one, not the fake parks it has now. Parks with big open fields where I can lie down during cloudy days and listen to my iPod. Where I can play Frisbee with my gang.

When I reached the corner of Paseo and Buendia, I bumped (crashed) into someone.

Sorry! I said, holding my chest. Ow.

He was running. It was a guy I assumed. Or a big girl.

Tangna. I cursed. No one saw it. On the sidewalk, I noticed a small book. It looked like a Bible. I picked it up. It felt like one.

The guy must have dropped it.

I went and tried to follow the mystery man to return the book. He turned the corner into Dela Costa. When I got there, he was gone. Maybe he went to Ministop, so off I went. Not there. I peeked into Figaro. Nope. Oh, well.

I ordered some coffee jelly--hold the ice cream--and sat down. Hmm, I need a smoke, but no cigs.

I picked up and opened the book. It was in French. Something about Camus. Not a Bible after all. There was something scribbled on the inside of the front cover:

Et quand vous trouvez ceci, vous commencerez à vous trouver.

Back home, I translated it, and realized that I forgot to drink the coffee in the flask in my bag.

1 comment:

sirensinister said...

hi, thnks for checking some of my photos... yes, you can say I'm a visual artist in my own way, studied arts bt given my current cirsumstance I'm on a grey area of pursuing my passion... a "frustrated artist" i must say.

I guess instead of words i just post pictures... I'am too lazy to enter an entry. I've been meaning to read ur entries (my body clock is just too messed up) irrelevant?!? nwei's I'm sorry if I don't make sense at all, I just type as to watever pops into my brain. :P

how are u btw? u know I really love the way you tell ur entries... it's like I'm reading a book. I have all this images how ur day went and ur thoughts (obviously!)hahaha. I'm not good at writing... as u can noticebly see!

btw why arent u happy with ur career? wat issues do u have if u dontmind me asking?

the Idea of marriage... well, I'm not so optimistic either. I really dont know sumtimes i think im gonna end up alone. I have my issues i guess... or finding the ryt person to be with.. it bullshit to talk abt it anymore. it hate how the conventional society sees into it or the bigger perspective (bt in reality its the easy way out for security or maybe to cling on 2 sumone. but just look at it as it has rather becme a show.. so that there's no "LABEL" or watsoever for some (im not ruling in general thou i address to the society)... ah my head is spinning and i dont think i make sense now.

My xmas shopping actually I finish it last sept in china... hahaha. I hate december shopping too many expenses :( thou i still have few in my list. how about u? done with ur shopping? uhmmm the rat?

yeah it was a big one huh! it's just so funny how the rat died. (refering to my rat shot in china)

wine in price mart are cheap (250+) u can get a treat for that price, bt when i go out i share a bottle with frends. 2 sats ago been sharing a bottle of red wine with this aussie chick that my frend always brings when we get to mit up.. man she can drink! so do i! and I just love it... I havnt tried white wine thou. gonna take ur advice on it :P I'll try one of these days if i do have a chance.

PS I can see u linked me... howd u know my surname? Hi wensleydale...and u are?