Years and years ago, during my worst and harrowing relationship, I actually split into two separate selves. The pathetic, self-pitying one, and the angry, frustrated one. I had long arguments with myself, playing both personalities. And then one day, I realized there was a third self, listening and watching the other two selves go at each other. I was mediating between me and myself.
I got out of that relationship and let my festering sores heal under the midday sun.
But now, this blog, I am splitting again, like a cat caught under the thick, evil tires of a speeding dump truck. I don't want to have to write here, secretly, separately, hoping for a different witness. People whom I do not know and who do not know me. Like too much blood in the brain, this is trephination.
I wish a could go to a beach, be naked, and let the salt water wash over me. What am I looking for? A saviour? A hidden door? Night falls in Makati.